February 19th, 2010
A couple of days ago I got dragged from my nice comfortable not so fluffy bed by my long time friend Sean who is back on a holiday for the Chinese New Year from his Masters course in RMIT Australia for something unexpected. Hiking. Mountain hiking + jungle tracking + zero visibility exploration to be exact. The place? Broga Hill. Located in Semenyih. Home of the infamous Semenyih Detention center where ISA detainees are kept under lock and key.But its not like we were tracking up the detention center anyways.
Woke up at an ungodly hour of 4.30 am to be picked up by Sean at 5-ish. We overshot the Broga Hill makeshift parking lot and got lost at the Broga Village. Almost hit a couple of dogs in the process too. Finally got our directions right after referring to the Broga police station who’s police officer on duty was nice enough to kindly paused his facebook session to direct us to our destination. No, I did not add him on FB after that morning thank you very much.
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December 31st, 2009
Its almost time for the clock to strike 12 while the old year 2009 retires and the year 2010 is born. It is with great sadness and pleasure as I leave behind 2009 with memories both fantastically good and emotionally crushing bad. Indeed, this year was a roller coaster ride for me emotionally and mentally.
The beginning of the year started off really bad with heartaches after heartaches. Living everyday was like a zombie living with the only purpose of eating brains. Sad. Pathetic really.
Then came the build up to Daicon. The event that I put my heart and soul in. It was all fun and dandy until politics kicked in and people who I once though as my friends became my foes. It pains me to see such an occurance but alas that is life.
My internship was a first taste of a standard salary man lifestyle. Very stable if I do say so myself but very boring as well.
Cosplayers. Geez…this was the year I finally came out of my shell and met so many great people in the cosplay community. Seeing them giving their best from making their costumes to trying their bestest in being in character really encourages me to organise more cosplay related events for them.
AFA09 was great other from me going all crazy at the end due to amassing tiredness. Apologies to my cousin Janice and Crystal if I scared you there. I feel if I was more energized it could be even more fun. My first full attempt at cosplaying as well. Not very well executed. Need more practice.
Cosplay photoshoot. I’ve been learning alot from every photoshoot I get invited too. Really happy got to meet many photographers as well like Aoshi and Linkinstreet and cosplayers alike too. Now I really need to upgrade my equipment cause I’m at my limits at what I can and cannot do with what I have. Any sponsors?
Last but not least….I’ve met someone. That certain someone was the one who lifted me up from all my deepest depression period ever. All these unexpectedly too for the both of us and I’ve never been happier in my entire miserable life…until today. Its about 2 months till the time of this writing since we’ve been together. No regrets. Thank you dear.
But what do I see in 2010? Organizing one of the biggest event I’ve ever conducted in my life, finally finishing my studies and starting my own company might be somewhere in there I guess. But anyway, Happy New Year to all my readers and all my family and friends and I wish you all a good health and great prosperity!!! Time to think of a new resolution this year. Maybe loosing weight may not be such a bad idea i think…
P/s: I wish a slow and painful death to all my enemies. XD
August 7th, 2009
I haven’t really ranted for quite some time. Been pretty busy for as long as I can imagine. I so need to take a good rest. All these running around have really been showing its effects on me. I’ve been working too hard, thinking too hard and most of all trying too hard. The benefits? Small at most. Imagine trying to kill a rat and instead of just trapping it you make yourself multimillion dollar weapons system that can wipe out anything in a 500meter radius to do just that. I’ve been trying a number of stuff from learning the guitar to involving myself deeper into the ACG scene just for experience sake.
The more I think about it the more I feel confused. What am I trying to achieve here? Where am I going? What is the reason for all of this? All these done and to what extent of such said benefits? Seriously? None. Met a lot of people, learned a whole new bunch of stuff but I still do not feel…happy?
Never ending questions float around in my head everyday seeking to find some sort of a satisfying answer. But then again no answers on life are never clear. There are things that bothers me and often times it does alot and I have to find acceptance somewhere along the long road ahead. Things never ever goes my way and though I’m never the lucky person to ever being associated with I’ve tried my best. I’m tired. Mentally and physically.
For what’s its worth at least knowing that I’ve tried my best to the fullest of my extend all this while might not give me any regrets when I’m down 6 feet under one day. Well, maybe.
In other news, I’ve finally upgraded to the latest version 3.8.2 of Wordpress after seemingly too lazy to upgrade from version 2.6. I have to say that it looks pretty nice. Now I have to start redesigning the site to something more visually pleasing. Speaking about the site, its almost time for me to renew the domain name and the site itself. Which also means it gonna be Clowonline.com’s first anniversary. Yeah!
But…should I maintain the domain name or should I change it to something more catchy and memorable? Any ideas?
July 17th, 2009
After what happened during the postmortem, I just had to rewrite the entire rant. I had learned many things during the course of DaiCon’s preparation especially in the field on human behavior. It is interesting to note that some people have no idea that their course of action would bring such drastic circumstances. In fact, ignorance is bliss and bliss are those who are gladly proclaiming that DaiCon was a success.
Most of the problems can be found in other blogs or forums so I won’t talk about it. That said it can be greatly be reduced or solved if it was brought up much earlier. I wanted to do my job but due to emotional and immature thinking of the hicomms I was deny that role. Kept in the dark and refused to be given proper information and also with a strange campaign planned to undermine which was pretty obvious proved that my services were not required. Not that I have a problem with not doing work but my professionalism demands that I must do my best.
After trying to confront this issues, strange reasons which were obviously illogical were given. No explanations were sought out nor was this was ever voiced out or talked over. Never have I worked in a group before that such a thing had happened before. Brats. Spoiled brats to be exact. This reminds me of high school drama that is famous of being brought into a university setting. Wonderful.
With all this being taken personally no proper work was done to solve issues that would arise and during that time I was free and very willing to handle such task which was my role in the first place. Being professional and responsible to immature kids is really irritating. Do you job properly and they will say that you are misusing your power. Ask for information they will say you are ordering them around. This would be true is your role was not the FREAKING ASSISTANT DIRECTOR. I wonder if the same train of thought would occur if its the director asking the same things and not me. Curious.
Assumptions and heresay mixed into work is a dangerous mix. From no drama to drama in such a short time even staying neutral was difficult as your every action was deemed as dangerous and scrutinized at every chance. But when they involve your personal life into the equation it was just too much. No matter how much you talk to blockhead who does not want to listen because it would mean that they were wrong is not what they wanted in the first place. Most of the problems were already foreseen months ago and if only they did not cut me out from the loop I would had continue doing my job at hand. Do so much for others and they stab you in the back at the end of the day. Yeap, I’m too nice for my own good. Period.
“Respect is not given but earned” is a two way quote which means the same for the speaker as well but when one’s action contradict such words it is known as hypocricy. When I speak of respect I always point out by saying that you must talk to the other person like a human being not ONCE did I ever mention that I must be respected due to my position. Listening to one thing and not the whole sentence is again just plain ignorance.
That said, one must look into the mirror and reflect upon oneself before judging others. We are not perfect being as some might claim to be. Understanding one another and talking things out is the mature and adult way to go. As long certain groups of people do not recognize and face this and grow up I am certain that they will never survive in the real world. The irresponsibility of a few people was what messed the event up. Its that plain and simple. Was the problems discussed and solved during the postmortem? No, it became a massive happy party where the world is made out of rainbow and unicorns. Yes, I almost blew my top but it was because someone was looking for trouble. I often wished that I would be surrounded with mature thinking intelligent young adults in university but I often found myself babysitting instead. I’m so fed up.
With all this dorama going on around me I must admit that it is time for me to close the curtains on this chapter and retire from EMiNA Cyber and any club or university activities. Sometimes all this shit is just not worth the investment. I rather work with outside group for external event and the like. At least its work done right and professionally minus the childish emotional conducts. Goodnight.
To quote a friend of mine “DaiCon was an event organised by form 5 student with the university’s money with the concert being main purpose featuring some sponsor and vendor booth with a touch of side activities.”. I agree completely now that it is not a ACG event. Enuf said.
June 24th, 2009
Me? A peon? Not quite true!
After 3 weeks of work I’m finally getting used to it. Although there is the matter of sleep debt and a whole lack of it I still have to say it beats having to study for exams. For the past couple of weeks I’ve tend to realized a couple of things while working. For starters, I’m apparently addicted to the internet in a sense that if you take it away from me at the office I’ll go crazy after a while killing everyone in the office then curling up into a fetal position at the corner of the room and then die slowly withering like a flower without water. Okay, no not really but still it becomes unbearable when you have nothing to do between assignments workloads.
Eating alone is so much fun! No, not really. Since I’m the ONLY intern here its kinda expected. I could eat with my fellow co-workers but seeing how I’m always on a shoestring budget(or until the end of this month) I do not see a point in doing so. On a side note, having cold pre-packed chicken rice from Carrefour for 3 days straight does not make it taste any better nor addictive at all. Well, at least it gets the job done by filling up my stomach. Kinda. How I wish there’s a nasi campur stall nearby at a time like this.
Just like how most people like to read the newspaper in the morning I have the tendency to check out bbcnews.com for the latest news reports…in the office. Unfortunately, I try not to access a certain Sankaku Complex due to its *ehem* non-work safe news. Other than the occasional workload that I usually complete in no time at all (freaks surprises my supervisors out every time), I’m pretty much quite free in the office. Heck, I even got some DaiCon work done as well.
Going to work in the morning takes me 30ish minutes to get from my house to the office door but it takes twice that time to go home. I hate rush hour traffic.
Overall, I’m still learning new stuff everyday but I still miss the ol’classrooms and the same consistent food around campus. Pffft…hell no.
